Is it gross?

There’s nothing better than coming home after a busy day of work and finding that the Super Mario Brothers: Super Show! is available on Netflix instant streaming. In this show, Captain Lou Albana plays Mario in a live action about the video game character Mario. Each episode looks like this:

1. Captain Lou Albana and Danny Wells (playing Luigi) act stupid and reinforce Italian stereotypes for 5 minutes.
2. A 15 minute cartoon that has nothing to do with the first five minutes.
3. Live action again for the last 5 minutes. Albana and Wells concludes their story, which has nothing to do with the previous 15 minutes.

I really liked the first episode. The cartoon part starts with King Koopa as the captain of some sort of 19th century casino river boat. One of his henchmen come up and alert him that there are no stow-aways. Koopa is skeptical and gets the feeling that the Mario Brothers have gotten on board some how.

And wouldn’t you know it — in the next scene, Mario and Luigi are cheating in a game of Go-Fish with a mean-looking turtle.

Hint to Koopa and his goons: It’s the two Italian guys and the mushroom-looking guy! Mario and Luigi are the ONLY human guys in your world! Post up flyers near all of your guard stations:

• If you see two guys with a mushroom-looking guy, it is probably Mario, Luigi, and Toad.
• If it’s one short fat guy and one tall skinny guy, it’s probably Mario and Luigi.
• If you see two guys wearing trench coats, it’s probably Mario and Luigi.
• Mario and Luigi always wear their red and green overalls under any disguises. You can check for this.
• Racial profiling is probably not a big deal considering that you’ve already committed kidnapping. You can probably get away with checking all humans.

I’d like to end on this note: Magic Johnson is the guest star on the second episode. He somehow shows up behind Luigi’s medicine cabinet and tells him that he broke his trophy (in a bizarre basketball move…) and asks Luigi to fix it. Luigi tells him he can fix it faster than Magic can do a dunk (or something like that). Magic says, “wow, that’s fast. I’ll see you in a couple of hours then.”

??????

For those of you that haven’t seen John Tucker Must Die, there’s a scene where four girls are thinking about ways to punish John Tucker. After Brittany Snow’s character claims that estrogen supplements will not help women increase breast size as it in fact interrupts natural hormone production, the four girls some how come to the conclusion that they should somehow get John Tucker to take estrogen.

After taking estrogen, John Tucker, in the middle of a basketball game, becomes “sensitive” and complaints that another basketball player is being “mean.” After injuring himself, he stomps off the court, claiming that the coach never listens to him.

Here were my thoughts:

1. That’s not what estrogen does.
2. This is why Hillary Clinton was not elected president.

hmm…