Posted in March 2008 …

Mar 07 2008
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Health First

Health First – Learning more about health

attractive woman from menshealth.comWe all rely on the Internet for basic necessities such as teaching your kids about sex, reminding you when your husband’s up for parole, and watching Rick Astley videos, but can you also use it for learning about health? Not at this blog, ha ha ha, no.

But here’s some sites you can take a look at:

  1. Stronglifts.com. It’s a site run by a dude that is jacked and does a lot of research. Sure he doesn’t seem to be “certified,” but everything I’ve learned from trainers seem to be consistent with what he has to say. I use a routine close to his, and I’d have to say that it works pretty well for me.
  2. Laurensfitness.com is run by this trainer. What’s great about her site is that she goes over practical tips and points out things that are useful to know. Like when you do a dead lift with near perfect form, and then you start arching your back and twisting to unrack the weights. Yeah, that’s bad news.
  3. Menshealth.com. Every day, they show a new picture of an attractive woman, and they list about 10 exercises that will probably waste your time. Buy the Abs Diet book (written by the editor in chief), and then come back every day for the new picture, but ditch the exercises.

Also note that menshealth.com is not applicable to women as men and women have completely different anatomies. Did you know: Unlike men, women are technically not part of the phylum chordata? Their stinging nettles earn them the classification of Cnidaria.

So now you’ve got two sites to check out to learn more about health. Check them out. When you start taking exercising and dieting seriously enough to research it, you’re well on your way to putting health first.

Mar 05 2008
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Understanding Finance

Understanding Finance – 10 reasons not to invest in the stock market

trading placesMany will tell you that the best place to invest your money is the stock market, but in this day in age, can you really trust them? Are they really looking out for you, or do they have an ulterior motive? Decide for yourself. The following are 10 reasons not to invest in the stock market.

  1. Your mattress returns 12% annually, and investing in an S&P 500 index fund, which has averaged 11% annually for the past 90 years, would prevent you from stashing your cash under your mattress which would in turn give you 12%.
  2. You don’t love your family. Perhaps your daughter won’t stop practicing the saxophone (and she sucks at it) or your son got his ear pierced. The best way to teach them a lesson is to be financially dependent on them when it’s time to retire.
  3. You know a guy that has lost a guy in the stock market. Face it. History repeats itself. If a guy you know little about invests in a stock that he hasn’t named specifically and lost what he describes as “a lot” of money, the S&P 500 will clearly stop averaging 11% annually.
  4. You are on a bus that is rigged to explode if you go below 65mph. You have more important things to worry about than investing your money.
  5. Your car’s spoiler isn’t big enough. Some things just take higher priority than investing. Ricing out your car is a life-long pursuit that will make you whole.
  6. Social security is just way too reliable and pays way too well. Saving money now would be silly. You should invest in a bigger spoiler for your car instead.
  7. In a twist of fate, the stock market has started to invest in you. Investing, in turn, in the stock market would throw the world off of its equilibrium, and you cannot be the one that has to take responsibility for that.
  8. Finance is hard. You barely passed the third grade. How are you expected to go on the Internet and sign up for a brokerage account? Wait a minute… wtf is the Internet?
  9. Your friend told you that the market isn’t doing well. Winning strategies in the stock market generally involve buying when prices are high and then waiting for them to fall before selling.
  10. You invented the stock market with the intention of destroying it. Gene Roddenberry was buried in space. What’s the lesson here? Don’t get caught in your own games.

Do any of these sound like you? If so, beware. The people telling you to invest in the stock market are trying to screw you. If you decide to do something about it, be sure that the revenge you plot is applicable to the crime.

Otherwise, perhaps it’s time to start investing. You’ll eventually find a great payoff from understanding finance.

Mar 04 2008
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Our World Today

"No we can’t" – The National SADD Society responds to Obama

hillaryobama_ap.jpgIt’s a big day in politics as Texas, Ohio, Rhode Island, and Vermont hold their presidential primaries. In the spirit of the occasion, I’ve decided to post about politics. The big question on the Democrats’ side: Clinton or Obama?

To gain a new perspective on the question, I met up with John Mirth, the director of National SADD Society, at the NSADDS headquarters in Rhode Island to ask him how NSADDS feels about Obama. The following was his response:

Obama’s all big on saying “yes we can,” but we have our doubts… We mean, it’s not like we haven’t tried… And maybe, with enough time, we may be able to… but sometimes… we just… we don’t know… It’s hard, you know? It’s like you wake up in the morning and you’re all like… man… or woman… or whatever… why even bother getting dressed? We’re just going to end up messing everything up anyway…

Who is he even talking about? Surely not us… Hah right, like anyone would ever think of us or think that we could accomplish anything… He’s probably just using the royal “we,” whatever that is… We just wish he’d take us out of the picture… because… we mean… we bet he can… but without us… He’s a smart guy… He went to a great school… He’s got great aspirations… Great skills… *sigh. We wish we were like that. We can’t even make toast right… without charring the edges… We’d probably just drag him down… gggggggggguuuuuhhhh

Leaving the NSADDS headquarters, I couldn’t help but get the sense that NSADDS was a tad disheartened. Hopefully today, they will hit the polls with the enthusiastic apathy for which NSADDS is known.

Mar 03 2008
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Bon Appetit, Food

Bon Appétit – Stop the whole grain insurgency

wonder breadDo you remember an altogether simpler time? When bread was Wonder and white, and rice implied “white”? And when someone would mention “whole grains,” the response would be, “whole grains? What are you, a hippy from SAN FRANCISCO?”

Those times have been replaced by the dismal present when “health” is a reason to give up taste. The following are whole grains that I cannot accept:

  1. Whole grain cereal. You’re healthy, and you provide an altogether “moving” experience. I get it. What happened to taste? Are the extra years that this will bring me going to be worth it if I have to spend them eating whole grain cereal?
  2. Whole grain bread. You dominate my sandwich. All I want to taste is my turkey, avocado, and cheese, but thanks to you, I have to taste cardboard as well. Thanks.
  3. Brown rice. The only way to make you palatable is by drenching you with sauces. Sauces that generally are high in sodium and/or simple sugars. Oh, I’m back where I’m started then, aren’t I?

Do you have a recipe that involves whole grains that doesn’t suck? Please do share. If it’s good enough, I will post it. Otherwise, I’m going to have to call an end to this madness.

’til next time, Bon Appetit.

Mar 02 2008
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Health First

Health First – Join the whole grain revolution

whole wheat bread

Ten years ago, it seemed that the bread of choice was white bread. And why not? It’s relatively cheap and tastes good. But now, the craze is all about whole grain. Whole grain cereal and whole wheat breads. Why the turn to whole grains? As it turns out, Americans are turning to whole grains as they’re beginning to place health first.

Whole grains are simply great. They provide complex carbohydrates, which your body takes longer to break down. Translation: you get a sustained source of energy for hours. Additionally, unlike white bread, whole grains are not refined. The refining process takes a lot of the goodness such as fiber out of grains. The fiber, in turn, takes more effort for your body to digest, which adds to the slow-release effect, sustaining your body with a steady supply of energy for hours without spiking your insulin levels (which may make you feel drowsy after a big meal).

What else? Don’t forget, both soluble and non-soluble fiber fight bad cholesterol, reducing the risk of heart disease.

So how do you take advantage of these whole grains?

  1. For breakfast, have some whole grain cereal. I personally prefer Multigrain Cheerios, but walking down the cereal aisle of your grocery store, you’ll find plenty of choices.
  2. For lunch, have a turkey sandwich with whole grain bread. The lean turkey will provide you with protein without a lot of fat. Throw in some avocado as well for omega 3 and 6 fatty acids.
  3. For dinner, substitute whole grain pasta for your regular pasta. If you’re more of a rice person, substitute brown rice for your white rice.

These three simple steps will start you down the right path for finding the healthier you. Keep reading Health First for more tips on losing weight while improving your overall health. And remember, always put your health first!

Mar 01 2008
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Bon Appetit, Food

Bon Appétit – Dumplings and your local Chinese restaurant

a wontonIf there’s one thing your local Chinese restaurants is full of, it’s secrets. Secrets are what keep it in business. No, I’m not talking about PF Chang’s or Ruby Foo’s, which likely only have sterile and boring secrets.

I’m talking about the ones where the wait staff are entirely Chinese (and all in the same family). The ones where things look generally unclean, but when you look closely, you can’t find anything that’s actually dirty. The ones that all seem to have the same menu and same prices but completely coincidentally (or is it???). It would take days really to go over all of their secrets, so let’s take a look at them one at a time. Today: dumplings.

What are dumplings? What are wontons? What’s the difference between gyoza and pot stickers? Where do babies come from? What’s a hypotenuse?

Wontons, wads of meat in a wrap made of flour, are a Chinese member of dumpling family. Your standard meat wad consists of ground pork, ginger, and onions, but you’ll find variations with shrimp.

Gyoza is the Japanese word for pot sticker. The Chinese translation is “Jiaozi.” These are similar to wontons, but the wrap is generally thicker and rounded whereas wonton skins are thinner and square.

Wontons and Jiaozi can be prepared by frying (gross), steaming, or boiling (winner!)

What’s the best way to enjoy wontons or jiaozi? Have one of your concubines prepare a sauce for you consisting of soy sauce, vinegar, and hot chili sauce. (Hot chili sauce is a the whacky-sounding literal translation of a ubiquitous Chinese hot sauce). Dip your dumplings in the sauce while they are still hot. Use chop sticks for added kitsch.

Where’s the best place to enjoy wontons or jiaozi? The real answer to this question is the Forbidden Palace, but if you’re in Beijing, you should really be ordering the Peking duck.

Just below the Forbidden Palace on the list is the dumpling house. These are Chinese restaurants known for their dumplings. The best way to order at one of these places is to just order a whole lot of dumplings. Sure, they have other food. Order as your heart desires. But load up on the dumplings first. Also, ask them if they have any “shao-long tung bao” (soup dumplings!) Don’t worry about pronouncing it improperly. They’ll only spit in your food if you pronounce it poorly and you’re Chinese.

Personally, I like the dumpling house but only if they have soup dumplings. If their speciality is just boiled or steamed dumplings, I’ll generally try it out, but I always end up concluding that I can make better dumplings myself.

Next time on Bon Appétit: How to make jiaozi. There’s the right way… and there’s the Hwang way. ’til then, Bon Appétit!

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