Prescriptions for eye glasses?
March 2, 2010
Why do you need a prescription for eye glasses? I mean, sure, it’s helpful that optometrists can provide a piece of a paper that tells you which lenses you *should* get, but why should you be restricted to that? Why can’t you just go to a store and try out lenses of varying strengths until you find the one that you like? And why do eye glass prescriptions have expiration dates?
WHAT DO YOU THINK, JUNIOR GUM SHOES?
Why do you do it like that?
March 1, 2010
The other day, Tian gave me a banana which I proceeded to eat in front of him. I removed the peel altogether, discarded the peel, and just held the banana by the fruit as I ate it. Tian looked at me in disgust and asked, “why do you do it like that? You put your hand in contact with the part that you eat. Think about how much bacteria is being transferred to your food.”
That made me think, why DO I eat it like that? Back in the day, I’d just gradually peel a banana as I ate it, keeping germs off the banana, and keeping my fingers clean. I was pretty sure I only started eating bananas like this about a year ago, and I was pretty sure I had a good reason, but I didn’t remember it.
Can YOU figure out why, junior detectives???
If you want to impress girls, why don’t you buy a house?
February 28, 2010
I was at lunch talking about cars. It went something like this:
Al: So I was thinking about just getting a new car, fully loaded with all of the options I want.
Nancy: What’s wrong with your current car?
Al: Nothing’s “wrong” with it, but there’s some little things that I don’t love. For example, I don’t like the grill.
Nancy: When you drive your car, do you notice your grill?
Al: No, but girls do.
Tom: If you want to impress girls, why don’t you buy a house?
WHAT? How does buying a house impress girls? Does I need to buy a *nice* house, or is it just the idea of home ownership that’s impressive. If it’s home ownership, is it the idea that I have money invested in assets? And how do I impress girls with that? I can drive around with an awesome car and be noticed by girls, but I can’t very well bring my house to bars. Should I bring the deed? Or alternatively, if it’s the idea of being well invested, can I just bring my investment portfolio and show her my above-average average annualized returns (which I do have!)
This was Theresa’s response later in the day:
It shows girls that you’re ready to settle down.
WHAT? So should I buy a house in the suburbs and buy a minivan too? And plus, I don’t want to lie to women and make them think that I am ready to settle down, and I don’t think I want to attract girls that are looking for guys that are willing to settle down. I want to find women that can get excited about an awesome car! And I imagine that there are better ways of showing girls that you’re ready to settle down than buying a house before you get married!
So what’s my conclusion for the day? WOMEN HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ATTRACTS WOMEN.
(Okay, neither do I, but I’m just saying…)
(And also, I’ll admit, that was a pretty loosely formed conclusion, but I’m just saying…)
This is Classical
February 26, 2010
I found this CD on the Zune marketplace called “This is Classical”:
I like CDs that tell me things! Kinda like these:
Also on my mind:
- ricing out my BMW?
- Survivor: Everyone vs. Parvati?
- Parvati Shallow
Facebook’s idea of Microsoft drivers
February 25, 2010
Almost every time I log onto Facebook, I see this ad:
No offense to my fellow Microsoft employees, but I think someone’s got the wrong idea of what we look like.
This is what the ad should REALLY look like:
What is the deal with Education Connection?
February 23, 2010
So I just bought a Kindle, but I’ve delayed opening the package so I could share this post with you. You better enjoy it.
Have you guys seen the Education Connection commercials? So apparently, Education Connection is a website that helps people find online colleges. And I can’t stop watching their commercials. For some reason, any time one of their commercials comes on, I need to stop whatever I’m doing and watch. Here’s one of them:
You know what bothers me about this? She tells you that we can go to college in our pajamas, and then later in the commercial, she tells guys to “cover up” when they’re checking out the web site. Wtf, right? I feel like if you tell us that we can do this in our pajamas and tell us that we need to cover up, you’re backing out of your original promise.
There’s another commercial that I can’t find a link to, but after doing a little Internet search, I found out that the girl in it is Andreanna Veith:
http://resumes.actorsaccess.com/219533-474127
I feel like if I could talk to her, I would say, “I’m sorry that you’re in such an awful commercial. I think you’re awesome. (I might love you)”
The last thing I want to mention is that every time an Education Connection commercial comes up, they show you a different web address to go to. Now, realistically, they change the address so they can track which of their commercials (time slots, whatever) are more successful, but I still think it’s creepy. It’s like how the guy you buy batteries from is at a different street corner every weekend.
(I like getting my batteries cheap)
So there you have it. Now, time to play with my new Kindle. Coming up: a review of the Kindle? OR, thoughts on something irrelevant. One of the two!
wtf is polenta?
February 20, 2010
For those of you that tuned into my last post entitled, “Today’s Freak-out,” it turns out that if I hold down a button on my car key remote, all of the windows open up. Who woulda thunk?
What I’d really like to talk about today though is what I had for lunch today. With my lamb, I got to choose 2 sides. For the first one, I obviously chose the asparagus (mmm asparagus pee). I wasn’t sure what to choose for the second one, so I asked the chef/server what the yellowish goop was, and he said it was mashed potatoes, so I was like “YA HOOK ME UP.”
After I sat down and took a bite, I immediately noticed that it didn’t taste like mashed potatoes. Nor did it have a mashed potatoey texture. After asking around, I found out that it was polenta. Ah, okay…
‘cept wtf is polenta?
So for those of you new to this blog, I’m Chinese, and if there’s one thing Chinese people know nothing about, it’s polenta. I thought I’d write this blog post as I look up “polenta” on the Internet.
Apparently, Wikipedia (or more precisely, some guy in his underwear with nothing better to do but write articles and cite his sources) defines polenta as a dish made from boiled cornmeal…
That’s disgusting. Isn’t that what we used to feed drosophila before anesthetizing them and staring at their sex combs? I’m going to sleep.
Today’s Freak-out
October 22, 2009
When I got into my car after work, I noticed that 3 of my windows were wide open, and my sunroof was partially open. This really freaked me out. I immediately checked the back seat for intruders, and I checked to make sure my brakes still worked.
So what could’ve caused this? I explored 3 possibilities.
- I opened the windows myself and just forgot about it. I often do open my windows, so it’s possible I just did that and forgot it. However, it was raining this morning, so I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have opened the windows. Plus, I’d never open the moon roof.
- I opened the windows with some button on my remote that I didn’t know existed. Can you do this? I have no idea.
- Someone pranked me? I had my keys on me the whole day though. I don’t see how someone could’ve opened all these things without power.
AND THE MYSTERY CONTINUES…
Crawling on the Floor
October 17, 2009
Today at my Krav Maga class, we spent the entire class doing conditioning drills. Toward the end, we had to do a snake crawl. This involves crawling on the floor while keeping your knees and stomach in contact with the ground. After we finished, I realized that I had a piece of hair in my mouth that I couldn’t get out by just spitting.
Normally, that a piece of hair in my mouth wouldn’t bother me, but in all likelihood, this was a piece of hair that was on the ground (on the mats) and got kicked up into the air and into my mouth. And the mats are absolutely disgusting.
Sure, they don’t look especially dirty, but they attract lots of gross things like:
- Everyone’s sweat
- Dirt from under people’s shoes (which they wear everywhere)
- Everyone’s MRSA. Look it up.
To give you a good idea of how gross the mats are, if I go barefoot in class, the soles of my feet will be pitch black afterward.
So the thought of all of the crap that was in my mouth just from the piece of hair was almost making me gag.
Unfortunately, the only way I could get the hair of my mouth was to use my hands, which had just been pushing off the mat for the last hour of conditioning drills. In fact, I could actually see dirt on my hands.
Gagging from the disgustingness, I decided to just wipe my fingers on my sweaty shirt (the sweat will cleanse my hands, right?) and stick them in my mouth quickly to get the hair.
However, I couldn’t get the hair out! It was still there! So I had to stick my fingers in my mouth again! And still no luck! I tried 4 more times before I got the strand of hair out of my mouth.
And that’s my story for ya’ll today. Have a good ‘un!
Cut to the Chase – Valentine
August 29, 2009
For those of you planning to watch the film Valentine, IT WAS THE KINDA PRETTY GIRL THAT USED TO BE FAT GETTING REVENGE BECAUSE SHE USED TO BE FAT.
Now you have no reason to watch it and can spend your time better elsewhere. You’re welcome.
